Tu jaane na.....

कैसे बताये क्यूँ तुझको चाहे... यारा बता ना पाये

बातें दिलों की देखो जो बाकी... आँखें तुझे समझाये 

तू जाने ना....

मिलके भी हम ना मिले तुमसे ना जाने क्यूँ

मिलों के है फासले तुमसे ना जाने क्यूँ

अनजाने है सिलसिले तुमसे ना जाने क्यूँ..

सपने है पलकों तले तुमसे ना जाने क्यूँ...

ख़यालों  में लाखों बातें यूं तो  कह गया... बोला कुछ ना तेरे सामने

हुए ना बेगाने भी तुम होके और के .... देखो तुम ना मेरे ही बने...

अफ़सोस होता है... दिल भी ये रोता है.... सपने संजोता है...पगला हुआ.... 

सोचे ये.... हम थे मिले.... तुमसे ना जाने क्यूँ...
मिलों के हैं फासले ...तुमसे ना जाने क्यूँ....

It is such a pity in life when you can't tell the one person you miss the most ... how much you miss him...

Ishqiya

अरे हुजुर इश्क करके दिखिए तो ज़रा,
बेमौत मरने का नशा ही कुछ और है...


- courtesy a close friend

Cracks in the Crystal Ball

Drinking wine and thinking bliss, is on the other side of this
I just need a compass and a willing accomplice
All my doubts that fill my head are skidding up and down again
Up and down and round again, down and up and down again.

Oh, I've had my chances and I've taken them all.
Just to end up right back here on the floor.
To end up right back here on the floor.

Pennies in a well, a million dollars in the fountain of a hotel.
Fortune teller that says maybe you will go to hell.
But I'm not scared at all...hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm

The cracks in the crystal, the cracks in the crystal ball.

Sometimes you think everything is wrapped inside a diamond ring
Love just needs a witness and a little forgiveness
And a halo of patience and a less sporadic pace and
I'm learning to be brave in my beautiful mistakes.

Oh I've felt that fire and I've been burned
But I wouldn't trade the pain for what I've learned
I wouldn't trade the pain for what I've learned....

But the fact is that.... I am scared... 

Sadly....

I don't want to lose you
but I don't want to use you
just to have somebody by my side. I don't want to hate you,
I don't want to take you
but I don't want to be the one to cry.


And that don't really matter to anyone anymore.
But like a fool I keep losing my place
and I keep seeing you walk through that door.


But there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust.
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just aint enough.


Now, I could never change you
I don't want to blame you.
Baby, you don't have to take the fall.
Yes, I may have hurt you, but I did not desert you.
Maybe I just want to have it all.


It makes a sound like thunder
it makes me feel like rain.
And like a fool who will never see the truth,
I keep thinking something's gonna change.


But there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust.
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just aint enough.


And there's no way home
when it's late at night and you're all alone.
Are there things that you wanted to say?
And do you feel me beside you in your bed,
there beside you, where I used to lay?

And there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know it's your heart they can't touch.
There's a reason why people don't stay who they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just ain't enough.


Baby, sometimes, love... it just ain't enough.
Oh, Oh, Oh, No

What a weekend...

It has been.. Bought my first Apple product and my first bicycle!


Well, yea I did own an ipod shuffle for a brief period of time when I 
was at IBM - but that doesn't really count. IBM had handed out these 
shuffles to mark some occasion and so I got hold of one! But 
apparently, it had some flaw (there were even rumors that it was a 
duplicate and not an original, but whatever) and so they recalled it. 
By the time the original or may be a different gift came in, I was out 
of IBM and so.... I lost it. So, technically though this is my second 
Apple product, it is logically the  first one I own (since I bought it!)
I bought an Apple 4G, 8GB Ipod .. for a good deal of course ! :) 


And then, I also bought a bicycle. Again the same case. I rode a 
bicycle when in school, but it belonged to my mom. So I was just 
using it. And then I upgraded myself to a two-wheeler and then a car 
going by the usual teenage progression map (I think it was so, in those
times). So never got a chance to ride a bicycle again!  
But now that I am in the bicycle hub of the world.. The Netherlands.. 
I thought it WAS TIME I owned one too. So started.. the search for
the right bike.. and with my blessed height and the un-excusable plea 
of not knowing the local language (Dutch) to scour the local ebay... 
it really was a search ! But I finally nailed that too and am a proud 
owner of a 2 wheeler  with 18 gears and a basic (plan to refurbish 
later) basket in the front :) 


Of course.. the ordeal starts now when I try to take it to work. 
Having my legs aching apart from my work-numbed mind is gonna
be fun...  Look forward to it ! :)

Love...

Even if I dont speak the words...
when my heart skips a beat,
when my eyes sing and dance,
when I giggle and laugh,
when I shiver and retreat,
Or when I just hold your hand

I hope you hear me say ... I Love You ...
in many different ways... (sometimes not on all days :P)...
But I Do.. Muah.

Itane RaavaN, Kitane Raam

किस रावण की काटूँ बाहें, किस लंका में आग लगाऊँ। 
दर-दर रावण, दर-दर लंका, इतने राम कहाँ से लाऊँ।


The current situation of Indian Politics and Democracy in this country !
Takes another Gandhian to wake this nation up (me included) to do 
something about it !!

On a song....

आज फिर जीने की तमन्ना है....

आज फिर मरने का इरादा है....

:)

Sab kuch.....

सब कुछ लूटा के होश में आये तो क्या हुआ...

दिन में अगर चराग़ जलाए तो क्या हुआ ...

Well, don't you feel that way sometimes? 
When you leave everything that  matters to you behind and 

are running after something that will not stay with you forever?

Earlier Poetic Attempt - III

कधीतरी वेड्यागत वागायला हवे
अलगद वारयावर तुला सोडायला हवे
स्वैर आभाळात हरवतो स्वतःला
की घरट्याची पाउलवाट शोधतोस ते पहायला हवे

Earlier Poetic Attempt - II

मी वाट पाहते तुझी असं तुला कधी वाटलंच नाही
आसवांनी भिजलेला रुमाल तुला कधी दिसलाच नाही

Earlier Poetic Attempt - I

रविवारी रात्री जीव घाबरला होता खूप... अंधार होता जिकडे तिकडे, सगळं चिडीचुप....
त्या दिवशी तुझी वाट पहिली खूप, उशीर झाला तुला तेव्हा मनात होता पूर

Perils of living abroad

Working in a developed country, new experiences,different cultures,
high standard of living, comforts that cannot be taken for granted if
you live in a developing nation, a house on the beach... Most people
see and think these things when working abroad concerns.

Yes, these and more, are the benefits - tangible or intangible that
come with working in a developed nation. BUT... what people fail
to notice is the new struggles, the frustration,at times the lack of a
system and others that ALSO come as a package deal!

If you work (or have worked) in a places like US and UK where you have
considerable communities living and working and providing support
and who speak English, will not relate to my point. Whereas if you have
lived anytime in the European nations or the south east Asian or
pacific countries like Japan, South Korea, you will definitely
(relate to my point)!

Language is a major barrier in these nations. Giving due credit to
the minority speaking English, it is still a struggle in your day to day
life that you go through. Everything from filing you visa to setting
the thermostat in your house takes effort. You may laugh at the
latter but you will get the point at the end of this post :)

Firstly, these nations are highly mechanized, automated - call what
you may. So some of the gadgets are totally new to you and you first
try to learn how to use it (forget customizing it to your needs). This
thermostat in my new house is very sophisticated and customizable
as per your daily routine, starting from the time you wake up. Fine.
But to understand what is what and set it - is a task, believe me!
The manuals are with me - but pray if I understand a word of Dutch.
(My German does come to my rescue a bit but I still struggle. )
Imagine the plight of complete novices moving,for the very first time,
to a land that does not have English as its first language!
God save his/her soul.
My best friend, Google, does help me most times - but sometimes he too
cannot do much. Some people just don't want you to understand them :)

Home is just one issue which can be handled. However the other stuff that
goes with it can sometimes cannot be. There are all these different taxes
which you haven't heard of in your country! Garbage collection tax! Man
what is that and WHY is that?! (Of course that is something that can be tried
in India to help clean up the streets.) But the point is how do I know how
much I pay if I stay in that house for only 3 months?! Then there is this
segregation of garbage which can be understood only by the Dutch literate.

The transport announcements - you never know if the tram you are
waiting for is going to arrive or no. There are offers and schemes that the
lady on the counter recites - but they are useful only if you can make out
what she is saying! An God forbid if you are a vegetarian!!
Try to figure out the snack you are buying is eggless... and you will be
playing dumb charades some times :)

Of course its not all that bad. The thrill of new experiences keeps you going.
But legal, financial and municipal stuff does make you wish that the whole
world would speak a common language! There would still be other things
that could add to my excitement and adventure. Did I hear Amsterdam?! :)

too much of everything

Is too much of everything bad... including love?!

Curious coincidences

Wherever I go.... my family follows :)

Well, I had moved to Bangalore and a couple years later
my bro moved to Chennai and then to Bangalore.

I moved to Germany (and then NL) and my youngest bro
took up school in France. And now the other one is now
coming to Germany for a coupla months initially.

So.. looks like my family loves me a lot OR... they know me
too well to let me alone .. hehe :)
Anywho.. its good to have family around. I'm loving it!!

Change of state

Finally moved into my spacious (well, in comparison with
my earlier studio, yes!) 1 bedroom apartment by the beach.
Still no sign of internet in this developed nation and despite
the earlier tenants having one at the same address!
Surfing on some unsecured wireless.

So change of state is because there is change in the state of my
mind. New things obviously excite everyone (for me, even more :P).
But especially the task of unpacking and arranging and setting up a
house have been one of my favorites, I realise now. Did you
wonder that the same things appear in a different light when you
unpack them? Well, try it next time. So there's a new thrill, new tasks,
new to-do's, more shopping :D Just feels great.. and the view is adding
to this pleasure of mine.

Coincidence?

My home in Munich was at the base of the Alps (not literally dude).
My current home in The Hague is a stone's throw away from the sea.
My new home is literally on the beach.
So I am moving towards the sea.. closer and closer... I think it is
symbolic of my growing fondness towards taking the plunge, eh?!
hehe.. keep pondering.

Strange

Strange it was that though today was an hour shorter for me
(I woke up and had already lost an hour thanks to DST), I
managed to do a lot more than I could have in a regular day.
Hmmm.. secret to achieving more - Have less time??

Moving Day is nearing

Shifting homes is never an easy task no matter which country!
Packing, cleaning, unpacking, cleaning, arranging, rearranging,
cleaning.. ahh the cycle never ends for a few days.

I have lived in my current studio for only 6 months, but man, it
is still tough to move out hassle free. I am fearful moving into the
new place this week due to all the tasks that await me there :(

But I am happy with my new place. It is fantastic. A bigger 1 bedroom
apartment with a view of the sea.. right on the boulevard on the beach.
Its just fab... Cant wait :)

Spring is here

The season of spring,
Weather seems to sing
Lovely lovely days
are coming our ways

Spring is finally here and it feels great. Gone are the overcast skies and the sun shines bright. Up and about on my feet, cos my dear, the time is right. :)

If you want to ever experience what human hibernation is,
you should visit the northern parts of the world in summer
and wait until its Spring. The snow seems to push everyone deeper into their hearths and there is hardly any activity. The moment the sun starts shining bright for a couple of days in March and you see those sleeping beauties wake up and show their might. It was so absolutely funny to walk out of my door and see so many people I never knew lived next door. (Ofcourse, I too hibernating, but well..) It was so great to see so many people on the streets, kids frolicking in the parks, bikers riding their bikes in full glory.. It was so refreshing.

The best part however, was mother nature. Its amazing to see the change around when the sun starts shining. Its like a switch turned on... and tak,tak, tak... everything around dons a new look. Flowers blooming every place you look, green carpets everywhere, trees looking like still waking up from their deep sleep... its amazing.

Here is one capture from around Den Haag this Spring.