Bavre se is jahaan mein...

Bavra ek saath ho... Is sayani bheed mein bas haathon mein tera haath ho..

Goes the line of a beautiful song from the movie Hazaaron Khwaeishein Aisi.
Its an interesting line. It makes you want to get lost in this supposedly 'sane'
world with all your madness and still like it :)

Well, I have been pondering over this thought for quite some time now.
Like one of my friend chooses to describe it "Opposites attract but similarity sustains"
I have been in favour of the first part of this argument so far. I was shown
the other facet of it by this friend. He has a very strong argument for it.
Says he.. though opposites have a fun time initially it becomes frustrating
over a period of time since there is a lot of unpredictability and adjustment.
Similarity however has a knack of growing on you. He refutes my argument
that similarity is boring by giving me emphatic point by point answers. It
seems that similarity brings with it the certain predictability which does wonders
people since they always seem to be getting things done their way. I am sure
it is good for our fragile ego's to see we getting our way in everything.
Unfortunately I am going to need more proof than that.
However I must admit I am now more inclined towards the latter part of the
argument. It might take a cursory proof for me to accept it in totality :o)

First glance

Someone made my day today..... with these lovely lovely 2 lines..
written just for me.. or so I would like to believe :o)

Pratham darshani shwwas adakala.. hur-hur lawooni gelis g...
chukala thoka hrudayacha tu ... ved lawooni gelis g....

In Broken Images

My OB professor from IIMK read this poem out at our gradution.
Read it and find it for your yourself..

He is quick, thinking in clear images;
I am slow, thinking in broken images.

He becomes dull, trusting to his clear images;
I become sharp, mistrusting my broken images,

Trusting his images, he assumes their relevance;
Mistrusting my images, I question their relevance.

Assuming their relevance, he assumes the fact,
Questioning their relevance, I question the fact.

When the fact fails him, he questions his senses;
When the fact fails me, I approve my senses.

He continues quick and dull in his clear images;
I continue slow and sharp in my broken images.

He in a new confusion of his understanding;
I in a new understanding of my confusion.

Uttarayan, Dakshinayan and the joy of un-belonging

Saw a lovely marathi movie on tv today. It was titled "Uttarayan".
It's a simple story well told and well made. (It has brought back my
faith in Marathi cinema. I have never believed more in Marathi
movies more than today! They are so real in their feel that you
cannot but relate to the characters - unlike their Bollywood
counterparts which have high drama and zero base).

Sorry for digressing there but I had to speak out for the outstanding
work Marathi cinema does and is doing offlate. Anyway.
So this is a story of a man who has passed the zenith of his life,
most of it without his spouse and raised his only child single handedly.
At this juncture he meets his childhood sweetheart and life calls again!
Its then about how much our need to belong to society or a community
comes up.. in his lover, in his son. Though the protagonist asks the lady
to marry him she refuses because she has been brought up believing that
life cannot start at 40. The son is furious, again, because he cannot
accept the idea of his dad getting married immediately after his marriage.
He does not want a new mother.. but he does not see that his father
needs a partner. Anyway.. it all ends well. Sorry to spoil it. :)

Indians are actually the most hypocritic of the lot. I am being brutally
honest here (and I might as well admit to myself that I also belong to
that category once in a while). We believe so much in partnership
that we get our 20 year old kid married or worry ourselves to death
if our 25 year young, beautiful, intelligent and independent son/daughter
is not married... but we do not think that companionship is what matters
most at the age of 50! Wow!! This movie hits this very point so very
subtly and beautifully.

In another scene a friend of the main lead asks him how his son's
agreement is so necessary for him to get married when it is he and
the lady who should decide!! That makes me also wonder as to why
we are not encouraged to be ourselves! All our lives in some form or
other it is driven into us that we have to belong to this thing called
society. We should not deviate from the norms that are laid down for
us. We should stick to the traditions and rituals even if we do not
understand the logic behind them or even if they do not apply any
longer. Well.. who is to decide what is right and what is wrong for me?
Everything is relative you see and so I should be encouraged right
from childhood to be myself and do my thing so as to lead a content
life. Except that we teach our kids everything from charak-samhita
to quantum physics.

Well its pretty late now and I might continue my thesis on the wrongs
in Indian upbringing some other day.. ciao.

Dumb vs Good

There take place events and incidents in our lives which make us
look deep into our selves. Make us wonder why we did certain things
or why we didn't do certain things a certain way!

Well, I am currently going through an introspection phase, which let
me be honest, is not exactly working out in my favor. I look back
at the path I chose and the values and principles I decided to live by
and look at where I am currently placed. Its making me feel good to
have chosen those values and lived by them.. but at the same time
I feel I like a complete idiot. There is a difference between being an
idiot and being naive. I have been both. The good part about being
naive is you learn something from the mistakes you make by being so.
But you pretty much can't gain anything from being an idiot!

Whatever the case, the point I am trying to make is whether one should
live by the values one believes in no matter how un-street-smart they are
or should they adopt values that are actually street-smart!?
Should one live life on the edge as one of my friend suggests and not
care about being right or should one try and be right AND have fun?
A very wise friend of mine used to tell me.. "Don't try to be GOD".
He said it whenever I tried to make things work my way and ensure
that I was doing the right thing or that I didn't land flat on my face.
As a results I had huge walls around me and according to him, I missed
out on all the fun. Probably yes.. But I was taking care of myself.
I wasn't hurt.

I pondered over his points and adapted a more fun-oriented approach
towards life. So there I was doing all things that I otherwise wouldn't
have and in general having loads of fun. That was untill reality struck
me like a lightening bolt. In the process of having fun and living every
moment of life rather than thinking whether I am right... I had forgotten
Newton's third law. All the fun that I had living that way came back in
an equal BUT opposite fom. The result..I landed flat on my face.
On retrospection I believe though I was a smart woman I wasn't street
smart and that was aptly pointed out by another friend :)

Looking forward.. I don't know yet which approach I will now adhere to.
I still believe the fun oriented approach is the way to live life.. I probably
need to take it with a pinch of salt and set things straight for myself and
others.

Lets see how it goes. :o)

Solitude

Solitude comes at a premium... which I am ready to pay,
but please let me get some!

Well I recently realised I belong to an eccentric clan. According
to Mr.Shantaram there are people who can never live in a crowd,
with people. The intensity of their affection for someone can be seen
if they let some of their friends and family to stay overnight.. but thats
about it. They can't have more of the other species. Apparently I
am one of them - who can't live with people for longer durations. And
believe you me longer durations can mean 3-4 days. Yeah!!
Ok, it's not that I hadn't realised this earlier. I was and still am very aware
of my limitations (according to the world). Just that I was glad to know
I am not a weirdo ;)

A friend of mine put this very beautifully. He is an extrovert whereas I am
an introvert. He needed people around him to stimulate him while I needed
to be with myself after I met people - to be myself. So he said that he drew
his energy from the other people whereas I drew it from within - which is
very true. Nothing wrong or right about it. It is just a matter of how you are.

Anyway. I have had enough of the chatter around me and would die to get
some silence around. But think I dont have to go that extreme. Hitting the bed
will do. Night....