Uttarayan, Dakshinayan and the joy of un-belonging

Saw a lovely marathi movie on tv today. It was titled "Uttarayan".
It's a simple story well told and well made. (It has brought back my
faith in Marathi cinema. I have never believed more in Marathi
movies more than today! They are so real in their feel that you
cannot but relate to the characters - unlike their Bollywood
counterparts which have high drama and zero base).

Sorry for digressing there but I had to speak out for the outstanding
work Marathi cinema does and is doing offlate. Anyway.
So this is a story of a man who has passed the zenith of his life,
most of it without his spouse and raised his only child single handedly.
At this juncture he meets his childhood sweetheart and life calls again!
Its then about how much our need to belong to society or a community
comes up.. in his lover, in his son. Though the protagonist asks the lady
to marry him she refuses because she has been brought up believing that
life cannot start at 40. The son is furious, again, because he cannot
accept the idea of his dad getting married immediately after his marriage.
He does not want a new mother.. but he does not see that his father
needs a partner. Anyway.. it all ends well. Sorry to spoil it. :)

Indians are actually the most hypocritic of the lot. I am being brutally
honest here (and I might as well admit to myself that I also belong to
that category once in a while). We believe so much in partnership
that we get our 20 year old kid married or worry ourselves to death
if our 25 year young, beautiful, intelligent and independent son/daughter
is not married... but we do not think that companionship is what matters
most at the age of 50! Wow!! This movie hits this very point so very
subtly and beautifully.

In another scene a friend of the main lead asks him how his son's
agreement is so necessary for him to get married when it is he and
the lady who should decide!! That makes me also wonder as to why
we are not encouraged to be ourselves! All our lives in some form or
other it is driven into us that we have to belong to this thing called
society. We should not deviate from the norms that are laid down for
us. We should stick to the traditions and rituals even if we do not
understand the logic behind them or even if they do not apply any
longer. Well.. who is to decide what is right and what is wrong for me?
Everything is relative you see and so I should be encouraged right
from childhood to be myself and do my thing so as to lead a content
life. Except that we teach our kids everything from charak-samhita
to quantum physics.

Well its pretty late now and I might continue my thesis on the wrongs
in Indian upbringing some other day.. ciao.