Blast from the past

Came across this note I wrote in my long forgotten iPod while 
trying to minimize the technological noise in my life.

I wrote this when I was down and low couple of years back.. and I 
thought THAT was rock bottom. It was nothing compared to the 
pain and chaos that 2015 brought with it. Had I known then what i 
know now... I wouldn't have kid myself with this note :)
So here goes...

'
Rock Bottom

You think you would know when you hit rock bottom. There would be a thump when you land and that would be your clue! But you know what, nothing in life is as obvious or simple as it looks or you would like it to be. Wake up!
So, when you hit rock nottom, you dont realise it asap... Cos you land there like a feather... Giding down from one setback to another ... Should we be thankful for that? I dont know... yet. So it slowly sinks in - much like you slowly sink to the bottom - that you have hit nadir. How one reacts, on realization, depends on one;s character I reckon. Denial, struggle, fight, reflection, meditation - various ways to deal with it. Its only when acceptance sets in that you become free to fly again. Then you stop looking at the rock and start looking up.
Sometimes you see the sun shining right at you... Quite often you see gray skies and it takes effort to see the silver lining.
At the end though, hope (almost always) wins... Cos thats what makes the world go round.

Then starts the tough climb up... Its trying... With all the pain, hurt, yearning, pining (cursing?!) and waiting... Its hopeless at times... But one doesn't give up trying...

'

Beau Taplin...

Came across this guy while whiling away (pun intended) my time 
on the internet... 

His most famous qoute ....

And others ......

“I could be calm and composed all day long, but the moment it is dark, my mind riots.”

“It is a frightening thought, that in one fraction of a moment you can
fall in the kind of love that takes a lifetime to get over.”

“Some people are magic, and others are just the illusion of it.”

“No, I do not want to be loved unconditionally. I want to be shown when I am treating you less than you deserve. I want you to leave if I ever start making you promises I do not see through. Love me for my flaws, yes, but don’t you dare ever allow them to hurt you.”


“In the night, I am kept awake by the endless chatter of my inner self. I hear it speak softly of old hurts and fondly of past loves, while its demands and anxieties resound throughout me in multitudes.


“I’m tired of trying to fill up my empty spaces with things I don’t need and people I don’t like.” 

“There's no medicine or therapy like sitting alone in a secluded
place with someone you feel at peace and comfortable with. A little
music for atmosphere and some quality conversation, and all your 
wounds and sorrows heal themselves.”

“A memory can be a marvellous getaway, but you must never make a home there”

And more here - http://afadthatlastsforever.tumblr.com/

Seems like an amazing poet...gotta read him.

Tamasha

Watched 'Tamasha' today.... was indeed a Tamasha....

A good concept gone down the drain in execution. Sigh..
The concept rang true in today's times and especially with
urban IT public.. even the upcoming generation..
Oh, but the execution... could have been so much better !!

It indeed is true that most IT people lead robotic lives...
trying to act and do the thing that is expected of them. It is TIRING.

It would be really nice for the current and next generations to let their
kids do what they really enjoy doing...

You ARE special !!

My silver lining

I don't wanna wait anymore, I'm tired of looking for answers..

These shackles I've made in an attempt to be free..

Just awesome !

State of the world

The state of the world right now is frustrating, painful and
deeply saddening. Newspapers and channels have nothing
to report but misery, sorrow, anger and violence. When
you see  pictures of deprivation and anguish hurled at you
day in and day out, it pulls you down to the same level.

No matter where you look, you see the struggle in
everyone's lives. Struggle to get a job, make a living, feed
a family.. or even to survive!!
Its a tough world... in the true sense..




I wish humankind didn't achieve this advancement in
technology without first having advanced in controlling
their their inner world !

As fast as she can

Have you seen that episode of HIMYM, titled "As Fast As She Can"? 
Ted talks about his innermost desire and how he is now tired of waiting for it to happen !

Then,Stella tells Ted a story of how she once talked her way out of 
a speeding ticket: When the officer said "Young lady, I've been waiting for you all day", she replied with "I'm sorry, officer, I got here as fast as I could."

It's similar in the lives of most of us. We get tired of waiting and at 
times we need someone to tell us -  'She is getting here as fast as she 
can!' 

So, if you want something in your life and are tired of waiting for it to 
arrive... wait a little more... it's getting there as fast it can ! 
Not very helpful, but consoling and brings hope !!

For the control freaks

You're required to take risks. We'll only understand the miracle
of life if we allow the unexpected to happen.
                                                                       - Paulo Coelho

Conditional Love

Conditional love is palpable, tangile and REAL!

Unconditional love is not... whoever even invented that!
How often do you find unconditional love in the world.. today's
or folklore?!

I am not saying that it does not exist.. it does! But it is rare and
definitely not so common that you can find it in your own lives.
It is possible to love someone unconditionally as long as the other
entity is NOT real... is NOT tangible... or is a concept ! It is
practiced by 0.000001% of the population of the entire world at
any given time.Can you name one person in  your life who you
think loves someone unconditionally? Do tell.

Our relationship with our own self is not unconditional. Do we
forgive ourselves if we eat that piece of cake? Or if we do
something that goes against the grain of  our 'conditioned' minds'?
Can we let go of the feeling of guilt when we are disappointed to
know that the gift was not worth the wrapping?! We are trained
since we are born to accept and love everything as it is.. but the
truth is... we are humans! We have emotions and we cannot
betray them. And this post is about being true to our emotions..
to our nature..to who we are. I would like to believe that we
strive to be better everyday..but that we do not hate ourselves
if we are not !

Someone said 'Love is unconditional.... Relationships not'.
He or she was so right. Cos I don't think it is wrong.  If we want
to learn the art of unconditional love.. we ought to start with
ourselves.. by accepting our relationship with our own self...
by accepting that sometimes it just ain't happening mate!

Silent movies of life

Sitting at your desk with noise cancelling headphones is entertaining.... 

it’s like being IN a Charlie Chaplin movie !

Friends....

ना जाने कौनसी दौलत हैं दोस्तों के लफ़्ज़ों में।
बात करते हैं तो दिल जीत लेते हैं। ..

Old one from my e-memoirs

तुझें पाने के बाद ऐसा कोई नहीं जिसे मुश्किल है पाना
तुझे पाने के बाद ऐसा कोई नहीं जिसे मुझको है पाना

Funny is the process of aging...

It helps you gain experience and form your world view and build 

confidence... while at the same time it makes you a little fearful of 

the unknown, holding you back from using your experiences to

tread further on your path of true calling...!

A 10-year-younger me would have jumped at the opportunity of

performing a great role in the warm and colorful land of Spain... 

but the current me immediately calculates the chaos it would bring

and the effort and exhaustion it would take for subsequent 

calmness to set in...

I think I am getting old... :(

New year... new start...

Will try to get out of my head and out of my shell :)
Have realised (and also been told by some) that I am notoriously addicted to,
for lack of a better word, loneliness !

Time (again!) to break this loop... hoping I can sustain this change.