Relationships and their truths

Life somehow changes when you formalize your relationship...
Fact of life... the sad truth.

You meet someone interesting, you take it forward with your own pretenses,
you get into a commitment with some false promises (even of your own)....

Then when the honeymoon is over... sooner or later... you face the reality ! 

I, for one, have realized, that I want to be with someone who is somebody's husband first
and then somebody's son... Not the other way round !!

Until I met her

I never knew 
what loneliness meant
Until I met her
And I still don't know
what loneliness means
coz she never left my side

I never knew 
what fear meant
Until I met her
And I still don't know
what fear means
coz therez nothing to fear
with her by my side

I never knew
how to Love
Until she taught me
She taught me 
to love without fear
of being alone
and for this 
I love her more

Yaariyan

Awesome Sunidhi Chauhan in this unplugged version.

Alvida yaara alvida
Ho rahe tumse hum judaa
Le chale saare gham tere
Khush rahe yaara tu sadaa

Tumse bhi zyada hongi
Ab yaadein pyaariyan
Hum dono ki hain apni apni lachariyaan
Ab hanste hanste tumpe le khushiyaan vaariyaan

Marz bhi hain deti
Chain bhi hain deti
Dard bhi hain deti
Jaan bhi hain leti
Yaariyaan Woh o..
Na chhode yaariyaan
Woh oh oh...

Ab jeene ko jaane ko, na koi raasta
Tanhaaiyon se hoga, ab dil ka vaasta
Hum khud hi khud ko, ab to kar denge laapata

Ab tum hi ho....

हम तेरे बिन अब  रेह नहीं सकते, तेरे बिना क्या वज़ूद मेरा।
तुझसे जुदा  गर हो जाएँगे तो खुदसे ही हो जाएँगे जुदा।।

तेरा मेरा रिश्ता है कैसा, इक पल दूर  गवारा नहीं
तेरे लिए हर रोज़ है जीते तुझको दिया मेरा वक़्त सभी।।
कोई लम्हा मेरा न हो तेरे बिना, हर सांस पे नाम तेरा . . .
क्यूँकि तुम ही हो. . अब तुम ही हो. .  ज़िन्दगी अब तुम ही हो…
चैन भी. .  मेरा दर्द भी. .  मेरी आशिक़ी अब तुम ही हो।।

Arijit Singh... the new kid on the block.. unconventional voice and a passion for music.. treat to the ears !

Letters from the Diary

are truly soothing... going through past thoughts, emotions and mindsets,
you realise how far you've come and how farther you can go.

Its so soothing going through old blog posts (mostly ;) ) .. 
I hope to continue .. and hope to be true to my emotions ..
jotting them down on a paper on the internet isn't easy.. but I'll try.

We lose ourselves in the things we love.
We find ouselves there, too
                                                          - some guy called Kristin Martz

तुझ्या विशाल बाहुपाशात सामावून घेतोस मला तू जेव्हा।
हे जग इवलुस् होत... न् मी जगा एव्हढी होते।

I suddenly had to revisit my theory of SoulMates !
Thanks to a show I do not care to give second thoughts to... Sex and the City !!

Well, this lady questions the concept of soul mates.. she asks...
'If you love someone and it didn't work out does that mean that they weren't your soul mate? Were they just a runner-up contestant in this show called happily ever after?' 

Is this a concept far from reality... something that someone idealistic, perfectionist thought of and is now building pressure on every thinking human being to find the perfect fit ?! Is there a perfect fit after all? Don't all relationships have their fair share of adjustments and compromises?  But that is a topic for a different discussion altogether.

Coming back to soul mates... can this one person take you to Eden where there are no fights, no resentments, no adjustments but only joy and happiness? For that matter, can one's own self be your soul mate? Technically - 'yes', but the emotional aspect of it says 'no'. Are we always happy with what we are? Ofcourse not, and if we were I would consider that unnatural. Cos human being's are always a work in progress...  

So.. if we cannot be our own soul mates, can we expect to find one outside of us?

I think the concept started out correct but was lost in translation. Soul mate is not a perfect person or a perfect relationship - I think it is being with someone who accepts you the way you are and makes it look perfect.... bringing in the happiness quotient. 

A week of lost & found

Crazy week this one.. never happened things happening...

Dropped my purse one afternoon on my way to catch some lunch.
Thankfully a good Samaritan returned it and I was DELIGHTED !!

Then today.. forgot my cell some place.. looked for it whole afternoon..
finally found it ..safe and more sound than I needed :)

Been a week to start believing in the good in people I guess !!!

Age Risk

Wonder why our appetite for risk goes down as our age goes up !
I think it should increase as we grow in life.. with experiences, emotions, 
material wealth, success, fame even!

Agreed, we have a quite some to lose if the consequences are not thought
through.. but the experiences we gather by age should help us take 
calculated risks with confidence. That though is not always the case and hence a reason to blog about it !

Bin Tere......

है क्या ये जो तेरे मेरे दरमियान है
अनदेखी अनसुनी कोई दास्तान है
लगने लगी, अब जिंदगी खाली.. है मेरी..
लगने लगी हर सांस भी खाली ..... खाली

बिन तेरे, बिन तेरे, बिन तेरे
कोई ख़लिश है हवाओं में बिन तेरे....
बिन तेरे, बिन तेरे, बिन तेरे
कोई ख़लिश है हवाओं में बिन तेरे.....................



मैं तेणु समझावां की...
ना तेरे बाजों लगदा जीं 

मैं तेणु समझावां की... 
ना तेरे बाजों लगदा जीं  
तू की जाणे प्यार मेरा
मैं कराँ इंतज़ार तेरा
तू दिल तू यूँ जान मेरी .....

Tu jaane na.....

कैसे बताये क्यूँ तुझको चाहे... यारा बता ना पाये

बातें दिलों की देखो जो बाकी... आँखें तुझे समझाये 

तू जाने ना....

मिलके भी हम ना मिले तुमसे ना जाने क्यूँ

मिलों के है फासले तुमसे ना जाने क्यूँ

अनजाने है सिलसिले तुमसे ना जाने क्यूँ..

सपने है पलकों तले तुमसे ना जाने क्यूँ...

ख़यालों  में लाखों बातें यूं तो  कह गया... बोला कुछ ना तेरे सामने

हुए ना बेगाने भी तुम होके और के .... देखो तुम ना मेरे ही बने...

अफ़सोस होता है... दिल भी ये रोता है.... सपने संजोता है...पगला हुआ.... 

सोचे ये.... हम थे मिले.... तुमसे ना जाने क्यूँ...
मिलों के हैं फासले ...तुमसे ना जाने क्यूँ....

It is such a pity in life when you can't tell the one person you miss the most ... how much you miss him...

Ishqiya

अरे हुजुर इश्क करके दिखिए तो ज़रा,
बेमौत मरने का नशा ही कुछ और है...


- courtesy a close friend

Cracks in the Crystal Ball

Drinking wine and thinking bliss, is on the other side of this
I just need a compass and a willing accomplice
All my doubts that fill my head are skidding up and down again
Up and down and round again, down and up and down again.

Oh, I've had my chances and I've taken them all.
Just to end up right back here on the floor.
To end up right back here on the floor.

Pennies in a well, a million dollars in the fountain of a hotel.
Fortune teller that says maybe you will go to hell.
But I'm not scared at all...hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm

The cracks in the crystal, the cracks in the crystal ball.

Sometimes you think everything is wrapped inside a diamond ring
Love just needs a witness and a little forgiveness
And a halo of patience and a less sporadic pace and
I'm learning to be brave in my beautiful mistakes.

Oh I've felt that fire and I've been burned
But I wouldn't trade the pain for what I've learned
I wouldn't trade the pain for what I've learned....

But the fact is that.... I am scared... 

Sadly....

I don't want to lose you
but I don't want to use you
just to have somebody by my side. I don't want to hate you,
I don't want to take you
but I don't want to be the one to cry.


And that don't really matter to anyone anymore.
But like a fool I keep losing my place
and I keep seeing you walk through that door.


But there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust.
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just aint enough.


Now, I could never change you
I don't want to blame you.
Baby, you don't have to take the fall.
Yes, I may have hurt you, but I did not desert you.
Maybe I just want to have it all.


It makes a sound like thunder
it makes me feel like rain.
And like a fool who will never see the truth,
I keep thinking something's gonna change.


But there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust.
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just aint enough.


And there's no way home
when it's late at night and you're all alone.
Are there things that you wanted to say?
And do you feel me beside you in your bed,
there beside you, where I used to lay?

And there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know it's your heart they can't touch.
There's a reason why people don't stay who they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just ain't enough.


Baby, sometimes, love... it just ain't enough.
Oh, Oh, Oh, No

What a weekend...

It has been.. Bought my first Apple product and my first bicycle!


Well, yea I did own an ipod shuffle for a brief period of time when I 
was at IBM - but that doesn't really count. IBM had handed out these 
shuffles to mark some occasion and so I got hold of one! But 
apparently, it had some flaw (there were even rumors that it was a 
duplicate and not an original, but whatever) and so they recalled it. 
By the time the original or may be a different gift came in, I was out 
of IBM and so.... I lost it. So, technically though this is my second 
Apple product, it is logically the  first one I own (since I bought it!)
I bought an Apple 4G, 8GB Ipod .. for a good deal of course ! :) 


And then, I also bought a bicycle. Again the same case. I rode a 
bicycle when in school, but it belonged to my mom. So I was just 
using it. And then I upgraded myself to a two-wheeler and then a car 
going by the usual teenage progression map (I think it was so, in those
times). So never got a chance to ride a bicycle again!  
But now that I am in the bicycle hub of the world.. The Netherlands.. 
I thought it WAS TIME I owned one too. So started.. the search for
the right bike.. and with my blessed height and the un-excusable plea 
of not knowing the local language (Dutch) to scour the local ebay... 
it really was a search ! But I finally nailed that too and am a proud 
owner of a 2 wheeler  with 18 gears and a basic (plan to refurbish 
later) basket in the front :) 


Of course.. the ordeal starts now when I try to take it to work. 
Having my legs aching apart from my work-numbed mind is gonna
be fun...  Look forward to it ! :)

Love...

Even if I dont speak the words...
when my heart skips a beat,
when my eyes sing and dance,
when I giggle and laugh,
when I shiver and retreat,
Or when I just hold your hand

I hope you hear me say ... I Love You ...
in many different ways... (sometimes not on all days :P)...
But I Do.. Muah.

Itane RaavaN, Kitane Raam

किस रावण की काटूँ बाहें, किस लंका में आग लगाऊँ। 
दर-दर रावण, दर-दर लंका, इतने राम कहाँ से लाऊँ।


The current situation of Indian Politics and Democracy in this country !
Takes another Gandhian to wake this nation up (me included) to do 
something about it !!

On a song....

आज फिर जीने की तमन्ना है....

आज फिर मरने का इरादा है....

:)

Sab kuch.....

सब कुछ लूटा के होश में आये तो क्या हुआ...

दिन में अगर चराग़ जलाए तो क्या हुआ ...

Well, don't you feel that way sometimes? 
When you leave everything that  matters to you behind and 

are running after something that will not stay with you forever?