Drive me Krazzy

I know, I know, I am talking too much about the traffic in India.
But as much of a pain that it is driving around here it is as much fun
involved when you look at it objectively.

The funniest event is when the back of a car has a sticker posted onto
it saying "I follow traffic rules, do you?!" is breaking a traffic rule. Its
hilarious to scream at the unsuspecting driver who thinks (s)he is the
one who is on the right side of the road.. er, rule.

The usual drama involving pedestrians crossing the roads has different
variations. There are the brave (read arrogant) ones who just cross
without blinking their eye and expect the traffic to come to a screeching
halt as they go about their normal business. And then there's the meeker
or a little sophisticated variety which stretches out its hand in a stop sign
to the oncoming traffic. Well, it works only sometimes in India. And
then there are the in-betweens - the ones who cannot decide whether
they should cross or stay put. They are the ones who cause most accidents
on the roads :) They should just know that a (wo)man oughta do what a
(wo)man oughta do and should JUST DO IT! Alas, they keep moving back
and forth on the road leaving the driver confused and wondering whether
(s)he should accelerate or should hit the breaks. If you are a good judge
(of people AND of traffic OR are a reckless driver) you will get it right and
there will be no confusion. But if you are not, then the resulting chaos is
hilarious when you look back. Notice it next time.

I am a firm believer that every road in India NEEDS to have a road divider.
Its just too unmanageable otherwise for crossing the street as well as to
drive. But putting up 2 feet high road dividers has not helped either what
with people putting in all their effort to climb it up and get to the other
side and cross the road. Whats funny is that it will take almost the same
effort to go to the nearest road crossing and cross the street. (Well, I am
almost certain its going to be as difficult there as well, but its good for
the traffic to know where to expect people popping up suddenly.
Its kinda expecting the unexpected! ) :)

Apart from people and vehicles the other most common (as per foreigners)
entity to be found on Indian streets is cattle. To be honest I never noticed
cattle on the street until after my first visit abroad years back. :) I swear.
But yes, the 'forener's' are correct here. You will see a single cow/buffalo
or an entire herd ruminating lazily in the middle of a crowded street, totally
oblivious to the deviations the world has to make for them.
There are also street dogs running behind any vehicle they think suspicious
and barking at them with all their energy to prevent them from entering
their territory again. That's the kind of security people on the street have
- totally natural and reliable!

Then there are the modern, educated, hip, sophisticated cattle on the
street - the ones driving whilst talking on their cell phones or the ones
who do not understand what "Yield" means or the ones who care a damn
about splashing rain water on unsuspecting targets walking on the street
or driving a two wheeler or the ones driving throwing all caution to wind
and driving in the mind numbing belief that they own the road - caring
two hoots for the mere mortals. Well, who says education educates a man ?!

This is already a long post but I couldnt end it without talking about the
daily dose of rallies, protests, morchas, VIP visits, road diversions, road
work-in-progress, broken traffic lights, sudden changes in routes or
religious marches? These are the motivations for a young man in India
to become a Formula One driver. Where else could one get so much practice ?!
I think we should have more of these since these are clearly not enough.

Nuff said! Its surprising that despite all this you won't see as many
accidents as you would expect to in day to day transactions. It's
minimal and usually with very less casualty. The other benefit of the
Indian traffic system is that it is a very active form of meditation.
The driver is totally aware of all his senses and has all his concentration
on his driving. (The swearing and stuff is part of the meditation,
kindly do not take it otherwise.) How could I forget the laughs you
get out of revisiting some of the events that happened during your
drive, the live action sequence unfolding right in front of you, the
intense drama, watching the police in action and at the end the
expressions of the unhappy car-owner - are some things money
cannot buy. Priceless!

So go get your daily dose of meditation and get going! Happy journey :-)